Every time you feel alone, just remember there are 25 billions antibodies following through your veins, who would die in order to protect you
“nobody has ever worried that much about me
Me: orders something with someday delivery on 11:59
taxes are essentially just a yearly subscription yo the country you live in lol
childhood is the free trial
Me:ima get these grades & get my education
me watching the lights flicker in class
Friend : “Ready For the test today?”
Me, on 3 hours sleep:
-What i see and what my cat sees…
Parachutes where inventend in 1783 and people befor 1783
When you open a window in a summer night.
when short people see someone shorter than them.
When Santa gives you coal, so you burn it and melt the North pole
my brain before going through airport security: what if I accidentally have a gun
how to be rich in 3 steps
Me (playing battlefield): weird, there’s no sound.
grandpa wearing Bluetooth headset:
Shoutout to the 1 guy using Steam in North Korea
- if you ever feel useless, remember someone made a protective cover for Nokia 3310
- It was to protect the floor
- Finally! A worthy opponent!
- When the doctor says you have 1 year left to live
- so you kill him and the Judge gives you 40 years
- when your sister is washing the dishes, and you slowly put another plate in the sink
- sister’s reaction and your reaction
Art schools after WWII
- When you are sick and your mom sees you playing a game
- HMMM, So you better now